A Mother's Words

The Memorial March Speech

Good Afternoon,

Today, we come together to remember and honor the lives of ordinary citizens who answered the call to defend our nation and paid the price of our freedom with their lives. These people were sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers…friends and neighbors. They were soldiers. We asked them to do this job and they answered.

Recently, a young private graduated from the Infantry Training Brigade at Ft. Benning GA. Training was tough. In this particular rotation, a young trainee died. Many trainees suffered physical injuries: heat exhaustion, bone fractures, and poisonous spider bites. Others found that they had made a mistake and left for home. The trainees inhaled really crummy food, “toed the line” at 03:45, did a couple of hours of exercises before breakfast and worked hard: 12-14 hours per day and stood fire watch at night. They blew up small buildings, stood in a tear gas filled room and repelled; face first, from a high tower. As we slept, they did night live fire exercises. They learned to march, drill, run beyond endurance, and march again until their feet blistered and then calloused. The young private I speak of is my son. Along with many others, he stood proudly on the parade field, to the strains of the song “Bad to the Bone”, in battle dress uniform, and was found “Fit to Serve the People of the United States” in an age old ceremony by the base commander. We asked them to do this job and they answered.

My son did not enter the Army to pay for college. He left college to enter the Army. He chose to train in the Infantry despite the fact that his prior education and aptitude scores could have placed him in many less dangerous jobs. He chose to enter the Infantry despite the counsel and concern of his family – including those who were veterans of previous wars in Japan, Korea and Vietnam. He answered our concerns with this rationale: friends serving wrote him about doing jobs in combat they had no training for and felt unqualified to do. He had done his research and knew that infantry training was tough…but he explained that you learned how to defend yourself and your fellow soldiers. He knew that there was a need for the infantry soldier: the highly trained professional frontline warrior whose valor and patriotism has defended our country for over 200 years. We asked him to do this job and he answered: “Follow Me”, the Infantry Motto.

He left for basic as the prison scandal broke and the Iraqi town of Falluja was brought to our attention in the headlines. We also saw the picture of soldiers caring for the coffins of their fallen comrades in Iraq – with dignity and respect. As he learned how to be a soldier we learned definitively that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and there was no direct connection between Iraq and 9/11 – something long suspected. He learned the folly of wearing his contact lenses in a battle training exercise as we learned that the turning over of sovereignty to the interim Iraqi government simply increased the casualties we were suffering even as we moved from conqueror, to occupier, to guest. As he trained in “Urban Warfare”, we learned in excruciating detail, the service records of our presidential candidates from a war long over but still haunting our nation’s memory. As my son earned achievement medals in explosives and marksmanship, soldiers who had served their year in the combat areas were extended because replacements were not available. As he was awarded his crossed rifle pin, blue infantry cord and graduated, those who had served honorably and were discharged with our thanks to return to civilian lives were re-activated involuntarily, and were reporting to Ft. Benning to be trained to go to Iraq to fight. They did not volunteer. We asked them to do this job and they were compelled, again, to answer.

As I did a bit of research for this event, I came upon a discussion board which talked of ways of disrupting this demonstration acknowledging the cost of the war in Iraq and the ever growing concern about its validity, indeed its legality. They were creative to be sure. One more creative thought was to “stink” us out through the use of a decaying shrimp soup. Another was to call up the so called “Security Moms” concerned with the welfare of their children. I guess I too am a Security Mom – I am concerned with the welfare of my child. So are the parents of more than 140,000 other children who are serving in Iraq and some 18,000 serving in Afghanistan. Parenting does not stop at 18 – the concern is life-long.

My views on this war, have in some circles, earned me the label of a “cowardly, unpatriotic, bleeding heart liberal”. The bleeding heart part is correct. My heart bled as nearly 3000 fellow citizens died on 9/11. My niece was among those hurt. My heart bleeds with the news of every soldier who will not return alive and for those who loved them, now left behind. As of this morning that count was 1032. My heart bleeds for those soldiers who have lost arms, legs, eyes, and sustained other life changing injuries. They will return forever changed…forever altered. Their numbers grow daily and many are not even counted due to the political parsing of statistics.

To the part of that label that includes “cowardly and unpatriotic” I will answer this way: I am the mother of an American soldier who will defend our way of life with honor. I was his first and most important drill sergeant. I know the measure of this young man. I taught him what it was to be honorable and how important it was to stand by your word. I taught him the values of hard work, respect for life, truthfulness, and humility. I taught him the meaning of courage, going beyond fear to achieve an objective. I taught him NEVER to back down from what he believed in even if that belief was not popular and people called him names. I taught him stand up and be counted in times of adversity. I taught him to choose his battles carefully and fight them well. I taught him not to desert a friend in time of trouble. I taught him to respect the beliefs of others even when they did not agree with his. I taught him it was more honorable to serve than to be served. I taught him to love his country, not in spite of her flaws, but because of them. And I taught these values without ever firing a shot. The Army taught him Army Values for 16 weeks but with respect to his drill sergeants, I taught him values for living for 19 years. And I taught him well. We asked him to do this job and he answered.

Only 2% of the US population volunteers to serve in the military. The families of those people understand what it means to “Support the Troops”. It is a way of life, not a campaign slogan or a bumper sticker. For some, it means supporting your soldier even as you disagree with his mission defined by political ideology. It means sucking up fear, realistic and defined fear, and moving forward with life. For some, it means becoming parents to grandchildren while their child serves in combat. For military spouses, it means lonely separation from your soul mate stationed far away. It means, often, doing the job of two in rearing children, a tough job; one I did for a long time. And for far too many it means binding up the wounds of war; fighting a confusing bureaucracy to gain the assistance to heal a broken body and a wounded spirit.

We, as military families, are aware that for our family members the color code for a terrorist attack is always red. Our family members stand ready to deploy, engage and destroy the enemies of the United States of America – every day – 24/7. We ask them to do this job and they answer.

I believe that the lives of our soldiers are not simply material for a politician’s resume or a means to an end for corporate America. I cannot support a war that is fundamentally flawed based on “faulty intelligence” and unfounded speculation. I can and do support our citizens who answer our call and become soldiers placing their lives on the line for our security.

The purpose of our military is to defend our country, not to invade a country that had nothing to do with an attack on our homeland – a decision made by politicians. Saddam Hussein was a bad leader, a brutal leader for nearly 30 years. Our politicians knew that: For many years they supported his regime because of political expediency. And as mad dogs do, he eventually turned on those politicians and their misguided attempt at nation-building. The First Gulf War had a simple mission: expel his army from Kuwait. It was successful and we went home. That war demonstrated that Iraq presented no threat to our country. If memory serves, it took six weeks to send Hussein’s army fleeing back to Baghdad in retreat. Twelve years of sanctions afterwards further crippled the country’s military power and therefore its threat.

The premise of bring democracy and freedom to the people of Iraq, our final reason for invading Iraq, too, is fundamentally flawed. The work of freedom and of democracy must be accomplished by the people of Iraq, just as it was accomplished by the people of the United States over 200 years ago. The cost must be borne by the Iraqis and the burden is theirs. That burden is “self determination”, an underlying premise of a democratic society. They must make the choice. Anything else is a sham.

So to our pro-war friends, intent on being heard here and around the country in an attempt to minimize any recognition of the cost of war, I say this. Are you among the 2% who are working to defend our country in the military? Is your butt on the line? Is someone you love in harms way or training to go there? Or are you simply letting my son and the members of the military catch your back because you are afraid of what tomorrow may bring?
War is not pretty. It is death and tragic life altering injury both physical and psychological. Supporting the troops is not about pretty parades, bumper stickers and waving the flag. Patriotism is the love of country, not the love of war. Those who volunteer and their families know this very well. We ask them to do this job and they answer.

Let’s make sure that we ASK only when absolutely necessary – when all other means of intervention have failed. This war in Iraq was not necessary; our reasoning was based in fear prompted by faulty intelligence and incorrect assumption. It is therefore time to bring our troops home - NOW.